Each month, Girl Tribe Gang leverages our collective voice and empowers our members to upskill each other by exchanging their knowledge in a series of blogs, FB Lives and Instagram TV.
June 2019 is our #KnowledgeExchange Confidence & Mindset month. In this guest blog, Life and Business Coach and Thame Tribe Boss, Roo Davies, guides us through the 4 steps to take to unlock our hidden superpower in life and business.
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” Roy T. Bennett
A defining moment in my transition from my long career in Marketing to re-training as a Life and Business Coach, was when I truly started to believe in myself.
Self-belief became my superpower.
Self belief is believing you are valued for who you are.
It makes sense, right? If you don’t feel good about yourself and believe in your abilities how can you can fulfil your potential?
By eliminating a lack of self-belief, you remove a roadblock enabling you to move forward, and magic really can start to happen. Believing that you deserve to succeed and that you can achieve is a gamechanger.
And more great news… YOU hold the key to lock your superpower.
Why do you need a superpower?
Much of my work as a coach involves helping people recognise their self-worth and tap into unlocking the power that this brings.
1. Not believing in yourself is debilitating
Accepting an inner dialogue along the lines of ‘I’m such a fraud’, ‘I’m not clever enough’, ‘Why did I ever think I could pull this off’ or ‘I’ll never be able to achieve this’ will not set you on the track to flourish.
2. A lack of self-belief allows FEAR to rule
You keep safely tucked up in your comfort zone where it is warm, safe and comfy, too scared to step out into your challenge zone where you can grow and thrive. Being in your challenge zone means putting yourself out there, exploring new options, making new connections and challenging yourself to see things differently.
You will never extinguish the fear but by harnessing your self-belief you gain control and you feel more able to achieve.
4 steps to unlock your hidden superpower
There are lots of ways you can tackle self-sabotage such as learning to positively reframe situations (i.e. always look for the glass to be half full versus half empty) and switching your language to support your goals and reinforce your abilities.
But your real superpower is harnessing your self-belief. Think of it as an anchor in your life, underpinning everything about you and your approach to life.
When you believe that you are valued, worthy and capable you really can flourish and be your own superhero!
“But how?” or “That’s easier said than done” you may say. Start by asking yourself these 4 questions.
What do I value about myself?
What am I saying to myself?
What is it that makes me, me?
What am I really good at?
I know these are pretty ‘big’ questions which you may find tricky to answer, especially if you are struggling on the self-belief front!
I encourage you to really give it a go but if you get stuck, ask a trusted friend or close family member these questions about you. Their insight can help you recognise the value that you bring.
1. What do I value most about myself?
Fill in these gaps:
The qualities I most care about myself are…
The attributes that make me feel good about myself are…
People have often said that I am good at…
My closest friends value me for my…
If I were to choose my top 5 favourite things about me, they would be…
I might not be perfect, but I am proud of me because…
By looking deeper into your qualities, feelings, activities and relationships, you start to acknowledge your value and give that a platform to exist in your mindset.
For some, this process can feel indulgent and egocentric, especially if you’re not used to investing time and energy into championing yourself. Stick with it and write down as much as you can for each question.
2. What am I saying to myself?
We all talk to ourselves!
Identify WHAT your inner voice is saying and HOW you’re talking to yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of internalising negative messages and dismissing the positive.
An example could be that you have been invited to present an idea to a group of people that you haven’t met before… maybe at a networking event, a business pitch or a meeting. Automatically your brain may go into overdrive, especially if this is out of your comfort zone.
Your inner voice may be saying things such as ‘I probably wasn’t their first choice’, ‘I doubt anyone will be interested in what I have to say’, ‘They have probably heard this before’ and on and on it can continue.
The first step is to acknowledge what and how you are talking to yourself then address it.
A great technique is to ask yourself, what would I say to a friend who reacted that way? I am sure you would remind them that:
They have been invited to speak, which indicates that the organiser/audience values their contribution
They know their stuff and have a great idea to share
What have they got to lose?
Can you see how your response to your friend would be kind rather than self-depreciating? It is also rational, rather than engaging the emotional part of the brain. Yet we very often don’t respond to ourselves in this way.
Instead we let the negativity build and undermine self-belief.
3. What is is that makes me, me?
Get to know yourself.
By that I mean, really understand what’s important to you, what makes you tick, what you care about, when have you felt most fulfilled, happy and proud.
The trick here is to spend time identifying and understanding what your core values are. These are at the very heart of who you are personally and professionally and the life that you want to live.
By becoming more aware of these central threads in your life, you can use them as a guide to help when exploring options and navigating a path that is right for you.
We are all unique – there is no-one else with the exact same values, personality, skill set and experience. Find out who you really are and who you enjoy being and you will feel more self-assured to step out of that comfort zone and believe in yourself.
4. What am I really good at?
Identifying and talking about our strengths, or talents, is something that generally doesn’t come naturally to most of us (research shows that British women in particular struggle with it). Yet these strengths are at the epicentre of your superpower so it’s critical that you work out what you’re really good at and then embrace them.
Look out for the signals:
You feel totally engrossed doing something and you can easily lose track of time
You crave being able to spend time doing it and want to do it as often as possible
You quickly learn without needing to invest too much effort
You feel a huge sense of satisfaction
Why not start today and ask yourself some of these questions and start unlocking your superpower?
Remember if we don’t believe in ourselves, how can we expect others to?
How can you expect your customers, colleagues, suppliers and investors to believe in you and your offering of you don’t hold that belief?
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” E.E. Cummings
Connect with Roo
Award winning Life and Business Coach, Roo Davies, is passionate about helping empower people to thrive and find their mojo in both their personal and professional lives. She works with her clients one to one and delivers workshops sharing her proven framework.
Girl Tribe Gang’s #KnowledgeExchange has been designed to recognise that ALL of our members have knowledge to share and that we’re ALL experts in the stuff that we know. Each month, we leverage our collective voice and empower our members to upskill each other by exchanging their knowledge.